The news of my pregnancy came as a sweet surprise. I have always prayed that the Lord would allow me to be a mother, but I just didn’t anticipate it would happen less than a year after I married my husband! The shock quickly turned to excitement and my preparation mode commenced in full force. I read every book I could find on pregnancy and natural birth. We went to an eight week birthing class, taught by a Doula in Southern Pines. It covered babies and birthing from A-Z and was so helpful! It encompassed all the need-to-know’s on what was going to happen to my body and to the baby each step of the way, with information on all birth options and techniques for whatever you chose. I felt ready to tackle a natural birth and was kind of excited about experiencing what my body was created to do.
I had my birthing ball, a robozo, my essential oils, a hot water heating pad, my birth plan typed out with multiple copies neatly placed in a folder, gifts for the nurses that would be assisting me in my natural birthing experience, typed out positions and techniques to try when the pain got intense, and a fully coached and educated husband to boot. Can you tell I struggle a bit with control? I had a plan and wanted to control exactly how it played out. But, God had a different plan.
Our sweet, stubborn baby boy was in the breech position from 18 weeks until he was brought into this world, via scheduled C-section. I tried everything to get him to flip over. I put ice on my belly where is head was to see if I could freeze him out (obviously I did not freeze my baby, and had appropriate layers of towels), shined a light and played music at the base of my belly to try to entice him to check out the fun at that end, had the Webster technique performed…thrice times, did all the “spinning baby” methods, and even laid upside down on our ironing board propped up on our couch (I think my husband thought I crossed into crazy town at this point). The inter-webs and all of their sure fire tricks did not work for this babe. He didn’t even budge. I prayed and prayed that the Lord would flip him, but He didn’t. And it took me a while, but I finally realized that my plan is not always the best plan…and thank goodness for that!
I grew to have an incredible sense of peace that my son was not intended to be born the way that I had intended. Maybe the Lord was protecting us from something catastrophic that could have happened in a natural delivery. Or maybe he just wanted me to submit to His plan and will all along. I wonder where my son gets his stubbornness from? Deffffinitely my husband ;). But I am so thankful for God and His mercy…that he gave me enough grace to continue with His plan. Because it is always best, even when we don’t see it that way at the time. We had a wonderful and uncomplicated C-section with the chief of anesthesia and a doctor I was so confident in. It wasn’t the easiest recovery, but it also wasn’t the end of the world. It allowed my husband to step up in the most incredible ways and initiate a sweet bond with our son, Samuel. I cherish seeing him jump into being a dad the way that he did. And my son and I are both happy and thriving.
Samuel Titus was born January 28th, coming in at 6 lbs, 14 ounces and 19 inches long with a perfectly round head (C-section pro!) and a Mr. Wonderful hairstyle. He is now a little over a year, and while he still may be a tad stubborn, we are so incredibly grateful for this gift we have been given. I may not have learned how to be a baller natural childbirth momma, but I did learn to always trust the creator of life, especially when it comes to His life that he created. I do pray that I am able to have a VBAC next time around, but if I don’t, then that’s ok too. God gave His only son as a sacrifice when it was not deserved, so I think He is worthy to trust with our sons (and daughters), too.
