Have you ever been to a baby shower and NOT heard ladies share their birth story? No matter how long it’s been each Mom treasures those memories and easily recalls every detail.
When I had my first, in 1966, things were far different. The doctor was in charge and all decisions were made by medical staff. My births were ‘normal’ for that time: narcotics, so I couldn’t think clearly, arms and legs strapped down, stirrups used against gravity, bladder catheterized, forceps used and of course an episiotomy. Husbands were not allowed in delivery. The worst part was that my healthy baby boy was whisked off to a nursery where I could see him through the glass. He was brought to me for 20 minutes every four hours. Breast feeding was discouraged so I was on my own with that, and they gave him formula in the nursery before they brought him to me. The average hospital stay was 5 days.
Baby # 2 was the same only my entire labor was only 2 1/2 hours long and the nurses didn’t check me. In fact I was totally ignored until I was pushing and my husband left the 'labor room' to get help. They rushed me to ‘delivery' (another room), strapped me down and held my legs together because the Doctor hadn’t been notified that I was there. They held gas over my nose and mouth until I passed out. When I awoke I had a baby boy and another episiotomy scar. I was taken to a ‘recovery room’ before I was eventually settled into another room for five days.
Baby # 3 was almost 10 years later and things had improved, although my husband still could not attend the birth. I was fully aware this time, I had limited medication, and the entire labor and delivery was only 2 hours. My baby was still removed from me, but I did get to keep her with me for much longer periods of time. My hospital stay was three days.
I thought I was in charge when baby # 4 came along in 1980. I had a new doctor who was in agreement with me. We discussed everything and I made a birth plan. Extra copies of the plan were laminated and given to the doctor, nursing staff at the hospital for their file and one was even posted on the nurses bulletin board. Everyone knew the plan except for Baby. My water broke at 35 weeks and my doctor urged me to deliver at a different hospital that had a neonatal intensive care unit. The problem was that he wasn’t a part of the group that was allowed to practice there. He turned me over to a stranger who couldn’t have cared less about my birthing plan. HE WAS IN CHARGE. Once contractions started I delivered in 1 1/2 hours. Of course I had another episiotomy (in yet a different direction) to add to my collection and they all hurt. But my husband finally got to attend a birth and my baby boy was healthy and didn’t even need the NICU unit, so what else mattered? We had our family. Psalm 127:3-5 “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them.” We thought our quiver was full.
God had one more blessing for us. At the age of 38 I found out that I was pregnant for Kristen. We were very happy about it, once we got over the shock. It was an easy pregnancy and I went full term. On July 1st, 1985, I spent several hours at the hospital walking the halls to keep my contractions going. You’d think by the 5th one that you’d know if it was real labor. I was sent back home. On July 2nd I became ill with flu like symptoms but no contractions. I called my doctor at 2 a.m. on July 3rd and told him what was happening. He was concerned that the baby would be dehydrated and told me to go immediately to the hospital for IV’s. It was a 30 minute trip to the hospital and half way there I had my first contraction. After that they came fast and furious. There was a full moon and labor and delivery was packed. Every room was full. They were pushing me in a wheelchair around in circles looking for a birthing room. They finally pushed one woman out of a room and pushed me in. Her clothes were still in a pile on the floor. People were working around me and I started pushing. I hadn’t been checked yet and a nurse kept telling me to stop pushing which I ignored because finally I WAS IN CHARGE. She went out to get all the monitoring equipment to hook up to me because my water had broke and the color was green. I tried to tell her not to bother, there wasn’t time. I kept pushing. My doctor arrived and was going to peek in and then go scrub. He took one look, came over to the sink and washed, pulled on some gloves and came over just in time to catch Kristen. She was born just 20 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. If I had waited at home for contractions to start she would have been born in the car. Kristen was my largest baby at 8 lbs. 3 oz. and NO EPISIOTOMY! No meds, no numbness and there was NO WAY they were going to take my baby to the nursery! Eventually they begged me to let them check her and weigh her. I wouldn’t even let them bathe her. So 19 years after giving birth the first time I finally got to call the shots!
We are truly blessed. We have no greater joy than to hear that our children walk in truth. (III John 3:4)
Bonnie Painter resides in Central Michigan. (In the same house I grew up in! :) She is a wonderful mother of 5, grandmother to 18 and great-grandmother to 3. When she's not spending time with her family she enjoys helping others pursue chemical free living through Young Living essential oils.
